Blue Star

There Oughta Be a Law
Scott Sullivan
When I was a boy—at least I thought I was—“Gidget” was the star of a TV series. In a typical show the boy-crazy teenage girl (played by Sally Field) would invade the guys-only realm of surfing. Zany entanglements would follow, resolved by wise advice from her father. Having a teenage daughter my-self now, I know fantasy when I see it.

A woman who used to be a man is running for Sparta Township supervisor as “Gidget Groendyk, formerly Scott Wade Langford.”

How does that work? Must people who change names when they marry list both on ballots? Do crooks, the most qualified politicians, have to list each alias?

What about folks who change names to draw attention to themselves, like pop star Prince, aka an unpronounceable symbol, aka The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, etc.?

Is it fair if my short, single name fills less ballot space than my rival with 13 pseudonyms? What if I change my name to a campaign slogan, such as “I Will Fix Michigan Roads Without Raising Taxes, aka Scott Sullivan.” That has a ring to it. I’ll omit the part about spending bucks we don’t have, so our kids get the bill plus interest.

What if I liked Scott before s/he was Gidget or vice versa? Can I vote for him, not her? What if Scott wins and Gidget loses? Does s/he have to change back? Who names themselves “Gidget” anyway?

For full story, pick up a copy of the March 24 Commercial Record or subscribe to the e-edition.

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