Blue Star

National Condom Week
Scott Sullivan
Just because “Ottawa” starts with omega and ends with alpha doesn’t mean it’s backwards. Last year the OCHD and its partners gave away 75,000 condoms. They’ve recognized sex hap-pens even outside of mar-riage, a shocking trend that’s gone on forever. Now they worry less about being holy than holey condoms, what will they do with the drop in unwanted babies? No such problem in Allegan County. Not a peep from our health department about free condoms. We should be shaming our northern libertines. As I was voting for Cindy Gamrat in 2014 and 2015, I thought of more ways we are superior to these hypocrites.

National Condom Week started on Valentine’s Day (V.D.), the Ottawa County Health Department tells us. If I hit the road I can get free rubbers at 26 sites in our neighbor county including Hoodoo Tattoo in Holland.

Ottawa County!? Where everyone’s chaste until folks stop chasing them? Whose residents were divinely conceived or came from the stork? What gives? First they screwed Sunday booze sales here by blowing off long-held blue laws. Now they’re conceding they’re not all abstinent?

For full story, pick up a copy of the Feb. 18 Commercial Record or subscribe to the e-edition.

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